Feeling Good

Today we had one of our first meetings for the "Biggest Loser" challenge we are conducting in our office. The vendor for an internal health website gave a demo on the tools available with the site. Although there were some things that I found useful, quite honestly - there are so many other tools out there on the web that have more flexibility, that I'm not confident this website will meet my needs. However, since the demo was for a group of people who all have access to this site, I hope that some found it useful.

Weather was icky Tuesday & Wednesday...the office actually closed at noon on Tuesday and opened at noon on Wednesday...so all in all...a full day out of the office. Of course, the work doesn't stop..and with the modern day devices...being at home we're always still "connected". It is certainly more comfortable to get the work done on an icy day from the couch..than spending a couple of hours driving in.

I'm sorta proud of myself because even though the roads were icy...I made it to a water aerobics class on Wednesday night...and today resumed the boot camp. Have I mentioned before that I am not a fan of sweating? I absolutely HATE to sweat...but at practically every workout & boot camp, I work up a terrible sweat. The one "sometimes" exception to that is when I take part in a water exercise class. However, thanks to my own JJ....even THAT time has come to a close. Now it seems that after my water aerobics class, I am to spend at least 10 minutes in the dry sauna. Any idea how hot the dry sauna is??? I am not a person who enjoys heat. Ever. I am the chick that keeps the A/C going even in the winter. But now...I am learning to appreciate the heat of the dry sauna. It is so very relaxing and when I walk out of the sauna into the general "wet" area of the gym....I feel incredibly refreshed & energized. I certainly hadn't expected this and I must say that I quite enjoy my "sauna" time. Maybe it's just the "after-effect" of my sauna time. Either way, it's something that makes me happy and it's NOT related to FOOD. Yes...there are things out there that will satisfy us.....and they have absolutely no caloric value whatsoever! Yippee!!

Boot Camp - Week 3 - I have missed two days this week (due to the weather) -ouch- and on top of that, I am going to miss the Hydro class that I usually take on Saturday because we will be at an all-day seminar on parenting. So....back-up plan - Friday is usually my "off" day...but since apparently Tuesday was an off day for me this week..I am going to go in tomorrow morning to at least get cardio in. Saturday morning - the hubs and I have decided we will get up super early and get our work-out on...the seminar is actually taking place on the SAME STREET as the gym that we visit most often...what are the odds??? Ah - but don't think we are too self-sacrificing. We are hitting the gym so that we can go enjoy a nice breakfast before we get to the seminar. Food will most definitely make us get out of bed! (At least that is what we hope will happen!).

I have not been eating as mindfully as I should. I do pretty good at breakfast & lunch- however dinner gets me most nights. Monday night - we had a flat at the gym...had to call the tow people cuz it was cold and rainy and my husband is prone to pneumonia - which is never a good thing. Waited at the gym forever to have some guy come out and change the tire - $80 bucks & a smile later...we were on our way. We resisted the urge to eat out...didn't eat at the gym - trying to make sure our spending is "mindful" as well. So - I felt pretty good about that day. Tuesday & Wednesday were pretty good also. Today though - today - not so pretty. For some reason - I have no idea why...I wanted Wingstop. I really love WS...and I know that it is not close to healthy...especially when pared with the delicious fries. I did order wings & fries. Now - typically - I can put away some wings & fries. Tonight I ate 10 wings and a small fry and was so incredibly stuffed I couldn't move. Does this mean my appetite is actually getting "smaller"? Why does that seem scary to me? Isn't that what I want? Of course it is. For some reason though...the thought of not being able to cram unhealthy food down my throat seems a little scary. I mean, what IF...I'm never able to eat more than my body weight in wings again??? What IF something happens and Wingstop closes the doors, never to re-open again and I am never able to taste the fabulousness that is WS?? Now, even as I type this...I realize that it is crazy talk...but those thoughts do just randomly run through my head. WHAT IF...I stop worrying about that stuff and realize that gradually - I am getting to a single digit size...or for that matter a size that doesn't START with a TWO!?!?! OR - for that matter a WEIGHT that doesn't start with a TWO? What if....I worry about the things that matter like that I can button my jeans without laying down on my bed and holding my breath? How about I think of the "IF's" that come along with positive lifestyle changes? Wouldn't that be better? Of course it would! But HOW ENTERTAINING IS THAT??? Well...I guess I am pleased that I could barely swallow what would be a normal sized portion for any other adult. I wish that I didn't feel so guilty after eating it....I know I could have made a better choice...but at the same time...while I do want to lose the weight, I also want to be able to live...and to occassionally enjoy the guilty pleasures of restaurant food. Is that too much to ask? I think NOT!

So - workout tomorrow - workout Saturday and then a semi-last chance workout with JJ on Sunday. Hopefully, my arthritic knee is all better by then...from what I have heard, I should expect a very painful and exhausting workout. Hopefully I won't be subjected to vomiting or tears this time around!

Loving me, myself & I today...because I DESERVE it.

<3 Me