Monday, July 19, 2010
The time has come....
So today is the day...whether I eat healthy or unhealthy, today is the day I start writing and tracking again. And it hasn't come a moment too soon. I stood on the scale today for the first time in a month and I am up 10.4 lbs. Whoa....not a pretty number...but a necessary piece of knowledge none-the-less. I will write more tonight...the day hasn't gotten off to a great start - overslept so my preparation for breakfast and lunch may be nil. If things go bad today though, I will not be discouraged. I will keep on keeping on.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
"Advance to Go" - AGAIN
Good Evening - (or morning as it might be depending on your locale) -
I am back and ready to tackle this weight problem again - as well as give updates on my school status. This is like my 3rd or 4th time trying to track my progress....perhaps third time will be the charm.
I am sad (and annoyed) to say that I have gained any and all weight previously lost and am now at perhaps my highest weight ever. Fabulous. I recently even tried a liquid diet...which was pretty cool cuz I lost 8 lbs in the first week...but as everyone knows...that is not the way to do things and it backfired once I started eating food again. Argh!
So..once again - I will try to "eat less and move more" and write about it so that I can have tangible progress.
I am going to post a starting weight on Monday since I will be out of town til Sunday. Then, my first official weighin and progress mark will be the following Monday. Each Monday, I will update with whatever ups or downs I have witnessed on the scale and along the way during the week, I will post my mini successes and challenges as well.
Since this blog has been so inconsistent and I've been back and forth between two countries since I started writing it, I will give a quick update on my career / school status.
I returned to the US in December after deciding that living in Canada would not be a long term option for us. Thankfully, my husband had the foresight to consider this and sent me up for a "test run" for the first semester. I absolutely loved the University up there and if my world consisted only of the University, I would have happily stayed. Unfortunately, other issues arose and we made a joint decision on my return. My son - now 20 - may not want me monitoring his every move...but he still needs mom close by sometimes. He actually got the swine flu while I was in Canada and was deathly ill...he didn't tell me about it until he was almost back to a healthy status because he didn't want to worry me. At the same time, when he did finally tell me about it, it was obvious that he didn't like the distance between us - and quite frankly, neither did I.
So - back to the States and trying to find a job that will allow me to go to school...argh...and that pays enough. So now, I am making a little more than 1/2 of what I was making before I left for Canada - not a great feeling. However, the goal is to have a job that allows the flexibility for me to go to school and this one seems like it is going to work. I haven't missed a single semester since I have been back in the states so that is good. At least my eye is on the prize to some extent. This summer, I have taken it a little easy with only one class for each summer session. I also got a great blessing by receiving a scholarship for $2K from the Executive Women International Dallas branch. This will be a huge blessing since we are paying for the school out of pocket and had the Fall 2009 term assessed at International student rates - (which are very outrageous). Oh well - at least I can't say I didn't go for it. I mean, I tried...and realized that the move just wasn't the best thing for me or my family. And as I said - my eye is still on the goal.
So - I am working now - still going to school - and attempting to eat right and exercise along the way....while dealing with the ever-changing emotions of a 20 year old son and maintaining a happy marital relationship....piece of cake, right??? - ok - bad choice of words....
Well - I think that is most of the big stuff....as I said - I am going to be committed to this effort. I may even post a link on my facebook where I will have real accountability to my FB friends and family if they read my posts....that's a little scary -but maybe that's what I need.
Hugs and Kisses! :-)
R-
I am back and ready to tackle this weight problem again - as well as give updates on my school status. This is like my 3rd or 4th time trying to track my progress....perhaps third time will be the charm.
I am sad (and annoyed) to say that I have gained any and all weight previously lost and am now at perhaps my highest weight ever. Fabulous. I recently even tried a liquid diet...which was pretty cool cuz I lost 8 lbs in the first week...but as everyone knows...that is not the way to do things and it backfired once I started eating food again. Argh!
So..once again - I will try to "eat less and move more" and write about it so that I can have tangible progress.
I am going to post a starting weight on Monday since I will be out of town til Sunday. Then, my first official weighin and progress mark will be the following Monday. Each Monday, I will update with whatever ups or downs I have witnessed on the scale and along the way during the week, I will post my mini successes and challenges as well.
Since this blog has been so inconsistent and I've been back and forth between two countries since I started writing it, I will give a quick update on my career / school status.
I returned to the US in December after deciding that living in Canada would not be a long term option for us. Thankfully, my husband had the foresight to consider this and sent me up for a "test run" for the first semester. I absolutely loved the University up there and if my world consisted only of the University, I would have happily stayed. Unfortunately, other issues arose and we made a joint decision on my return. My son - now 20 - may not want me monitoring his every move...but he still needs mom close by sometimes. He actually got the swine flu while I was in Canada and was deathly ill...he didn't tell me about it until he was almost back to a healthy status because he didn't want to worry me. At the same time, when he did finally tell me about it, it was obvious that he didn't like the distance between us - and quite frankly, neither did I.
So - back to the States and trying to find a job that will allow me to go to school...argh...and that pays enough. So now, I am making a little more than 1/2 of what I was making before I left for Canada - not a great feeling. However, the goal is to have a job that allows the flexibility for me to go to school and this one seems like it is going to work. I haven't missed a single semester since I have been back in the states so that is good. At least my eye is on the prize to some extent. This summer, I have taken it a little easy with only one class for each summer session. I also got a great blessing by receiving a scholarship for $2K from the Executive Women International Dallas branch. This will be a huge blessing since we are paying for the school out of pocket and had the Fall 2009 term assessed at International student rates - (which are very outrageous). Oh well - at least I can't say I didn't go for it. I mean, I tried...and realized that the move just wasn't the best thing for me or my family. And as I said - my eye is still on the goal.
So - I am working now - still going to school - and attempting to eat right and exercise along the way....while dealing with the ever-changing emotions of a 20 year old son and maintaining a happy marital relationship....piece of cake, right??? - ok - bad choice of words....
Well - I think that is most of the big stuff....as I said - I am going to be committed to this effort. I may even post a link on my facebook where I will have real accountability to my FB friends and family if they read my posts....that's a little scary -but maybe that's what I need.
Hugs and Kisses! :-)
R-
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tour Day
Today was the official first day of orientation for International students. It was exhausting...but nice to see the campus. My eating was HORRID today! Breakfast wasn't bad with a 1/2 banana and PB and a small slice of watermelon. However lunch consisted of an order of french fries and a Coke Zero. Dinner wasn't too bad with 1/4 rotissierie chicken and about 1o french fries...ginger ale for the drink so no saving on calories there :-(. Exercise on the other hand was plentiful. I wore my pedometer and had over 14K steps...and it included steps and more steps.
The real problem came after dinner when I got two donuts glazed with chocolate...certainly not the right thing...I think it is due to all that walking on some french fries and a banana half. Argh...I am irritated with myself for falling down on the donut wagon...but tomorrow is a new day...and it is not going to be quite as long so I will be able to eat better....and hopefully take a nap! :-)
Love to all!
The real problem came after dinner when I got two donuts glazed with chocolate...certainly not the right thing...I think it is due to all that walking on some french fries and a banana half. Argh...I am irritated with myself for falling down on the donut wagon...but tomorrow is a new day...and it is not going to be quite as long so I will be able to eat better....and hopefully take a nap! :-)
Love to all!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
First campus visit & a great food day
AGGRAVATION....I had my post all typed out and everything and went to modify the font...somehow when I was highlighting the text I hit enter and lost the entire post...of course, the autosave engaged immediately afterwards and now I have no way to obtain the pre-auto-save version to publish...ARGH! This is what got me off-track last time...but alas...I will not let it derail me yet again.
To give a quick re-cap...toured campus today...and ate healthy....two days of over 9600 steps so all is good on the front of exercise.
I miss my family and friends DREADFULLY..but am growing accustomed to my new home. I just wish I could have stayed in Texas and taken this path.
I love you Cody and miss you more than you KNOW!!
To give a quick re-cap...toured campus today...and ate healthy....two days of over 9600 steps so all is good on the front of exercise.
I miss my family and friends DREADFULLY..but am growing accustomed to my new home. I just wish I could have stayed in Texas and taken this path.
I love you Cody and miss you more than you KNOW!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Girl Without a Country
WOW! A long time since my last update...unexcusable, if I must say so myself!
Alot has changed since then...where to begin? Well...after our very 1st experience with CPS and the foster care system, my DH and I made a decision to totally uproot our otherwise chaotic lives and move...out of the country - nonetheless. What a wild ride it was!
So, I sit here in my new home (actually, my MIL's home and my temporary refuge). I am typing from the basement of DMIL's home with DH next to me.
Questions? I'm sure! After a very emotional experience with our foster daughter, I really felt drawn to working with children of trauma on a more intense level...only I did not possess the credentials to do so. I have relocated to Alberta, Canada in hopes of obtaining those credentials and moving into a more fulfilling career (albeit not financially rewarding). I am very thankful to DH for his support and encouragement...and to his family for their willingness to take on 2 grown adults (not to mention 3 dogs) during this transition.
For now, DH is going to continue to work in Big D at least through the end of the year. We will reexamine our position over the holiday break (see - I am already speaking Canuckie). :-)
What does this do with my weight loss journey? Actually - I believe that this puts me in a much better position to focus on this area of my life and I hope to report winning results each week.
The weather here is (thus-far) certainly more conducive to walking than the scorching summer heat of Tejas just days ago. I have enjoyed walks each day while in this beautiful country...although I am promised such nice weather is short lived and I should not grow accustomed to these outdoor activities.
My school of choice is University of Alberta and classes begin on September 2nd. I now have my official study permit and am looking forward to this trying out this student life again...the second time around. (or third which is actually more accurate).
My baby son I miss dreadfully...and he cried when he said good-bye to me which broke my heart...I love him so much...more than anything in this galaxy. I do truly believe, however, that he is better off being in a position that requires him to fend for himself a little more. I do not want to support him in a way that makes him less productive and promotes laziness...but...I'm mom...and I'm weak...and I do tend to do everything in my power to make things easier for him. It is time to allow him to stand (or fall) on his own and my relocation to Canada should make it more difficult for me to "rescue" him from his own consequences. I do wonder though if he will ever know how much I truly love him....if I could give anything or everything and assure his happiness...I would most certainly do that...however, happiness really comes from within and that is a lesson that I cannot teach him, but that he must learn himself.
As far as eating goes, I am doing reasonably well. My DMIL will oversee my eating I'm quite sure. I actually think it will be quite helpful...if it doesn't drive me insane! :-)
Well...I know it is a big change...however...I wanted to make sure you knew that I hadn't quit. I simply pulled over for a bit, but I am back in the drivers seat again and onto the journey of a lifetime.
Much Love!
Rebekah
Alot has changed since then...where to begin? Well...after our very 1st experience with CPS and the foster care system, my DH and I made a decision to totally uproot our otherwise chaotic lives and move...out of the country - nonetheless. What a wild ride it was!
So, I sit here in my new home (actually, my MIL's home and my temporary refuge). I am typing from the basement of DMIL's home with DH next to me.
Questions? I'm sure! After a very emotional experience with our foster daughter, I really felt drawn to working with children of trauma on a more intense level...only I did not possess the credentials to do so. I have relocated to Alberta, Canada in hopes of obtaining those credentials and moving into a more fulfilling career (albeit not financially rewarding). I am very thankful to DH for his support and encouragement...and to his family for their willingness to take on 2 grown adults (not to mention 3 dogs) during this transition.
For now, DH is going to continue to work in Big D at least through the end of the year. We will reexamine our position over the holiday break (see - I am already speaking Canuckie). :-)
What does this do with my weight loss journey? Actually - I believe that this puts me in a much better position to focus on this area of my life and I hope to report winning results each week.
The weather here is (thus-far) certainly more conducive to walking than the scorching summer heat of Tejas just days ago. I have enjoyed walks each day while in this beautiful country...although I am promised such nice weather is short lived and I should not grow accustomed to these outdoor activities.
My school of choice is University of Alberta and classes begin on September 2nd. I now have my official study permit and am looking forward to this trying out this student life again...the second time around. (or third which is actually more accurate).
My baby son I miss dreadfully...and he cried when he said good-bye to me which broke my heart...I love him so much...more than anything in this galaxy. I do truly believe, however, that he is better off being in a position that requires him to fend for himself a little more. I do not want to support him in a way that makes him less productive and promotes laziness...but...I'm mom...and I'm weak...and I do tend to do everything in my power to make things easier for him. It is time to allow him to stand (or fall) on his own and my relocation to Canada should make it more difficult for me to "rescue" him from his own consequences. I do wonder though if he will ever know how much I truly love him....if I could give anything or everything and assure his happiness...I would most certainly do that...however, happiness really comes from within and that is a lesson that I cannot teach him, but that he must learn himself.
As far as eating goes, I am doing reasonably well. My DMIL will oversee my eating I'm quite sure. I actually think it will be quite helpful...if it doesn't drive me insane! :-)
Well...I know it is a big change...however...I wanted to make sure you knew that I hadn't quit. I simply pulled over for a bit, but I am back in the drivers seat again and onto the journey of a lifetime.
Much Love!
Rebekah
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Stayin Alive
OMG - What a year this has been. As a quick update, and I promise I will update more later this weekend - I am still here and still fighting this weight battle. Yikes....things got really crazy after my last post. My FIL passed away and required sudden and unscheduled out of country travel...of course - neither DH or I had passports, so we were suddenly thrust into a rush of getting this paperwork processed. I had actually written a long blog explaining all of this while we were traveling and as I went to POST it...the connection dropped and I lost everything I had typed. Talk about annoyed. At any rate - I am back in the game now...and will soon be blogging away.
<3 Me...
<3 Me...
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Ready to quit
Today is the first day since I've really started with this blog that I am feeling ready to quit. I mean- honestly I am just totally defeated. Really, I shouldn't be defeated. I am hanging in the 230's pretty well...today I am up less than 3 lbs above my lowest weight since beginning the blog. Lowest weight was on 1/27 with a 235.5 according to my Wii. Today, I weighed in at 238.3...so I guess that is 2.8 lbs. Is that right? If so, it's not really that bad nor should I be so discouraged and ready to quit.
I had a pretty good Saturday after all. We spent all day at a seminar by Heather Forbes, called "Beyond Consequences Live". She is the author of a series of books on a new approach to discipline. It was certainly informative, however the approach is so very different from anything we (especially I) have ever used previously. At times, it was a challenge to fully embrace this approach. I don't consider myself a tough disciplinarian by any stretch of the imagination. However, this approach certainly makes my views seem extreme. I signed up for a 10 week more in-depth session that might allow me to get answers to some of my concerns. Perhaps after completing those sessions, I can more fully believe in the methods that were shared in this seminar.
After the seminar, my husband surprised me with a fabulous dinner at a restaurant, Kenny's Wood-Fire Grill. It is located in a little shopping strip and was quite a delight. It doesn't seem like anything special on the outside, but you walk inside to quite a hidden jewel. The scene was intimate, dark, and cozy. I may have been a little underdressed in my black sweater and denim jeans, but we were tucked into a corner of the small and cozy restaurant and I really don't think anyone could even see how I was dressed from the waist down. When we were escorted to our table in the corner, clearly marked with a "reserved" card and menus already placed for us, there was a beautiful vase of flowers on the table from a local florist. A card was perched in the vase with my name on it. The card simply said, "Rebekah, I love you. Mike" To say the least, I was sorta blown away. I would have never thought to have flowers delivered to the restaurant at which we were dining....so I certainly never expected to receive something like this. The service was outstanding...and the menu was amazing. Obviously - calorie count wasn't coming into play...I was going to indulge in something amazing..and not feel guilty. I mean, after all...how often does a girl get a surprise like this, right? I settled on an 8oz fillet with 2 bacon encrusted shrimp and a side of asparagus. Actually - I didn't think it would be that bad of a selection...so I didn't even ask for "light" preparation. OMG....the food was amazing...but extreeeeeemely rich. The bacon shrimp wasn't at all what I expected since the bacon was fully cooked and the shrimp was then rolled in the crushed pieces of bacon...almost like taking shrimp and coating them in bacon bits. It was served with a huge pot of fondue as well. I am not kidding. The steak was covered with a blob of walnut butter that was almost the same size as the steak. The food, although good...was just so very rich. Even the asparagus had a sauce on it. I tried to scrape as much of the sauces off that I could...and I didn't dip the giant prawn shrimp in the fondue or anything. Still, when all was said and done (including dessert)...I was stuffed. Beyond stuffed. I really didn't feel guilty though since it was a special occasion (even if the "special" occasion was a "just because I love you" from my husband.
We followed the dinner with a comedy show at the Eismann Centre in Richardson, TX. A trio called "Three Blonde Moms" was performing and the hubs got tix for us. It was hilarious...although I found 2 of the moms much funnier than one...so did the hubs. It was still a pretty amazing night and we were home before midnight..so all was well. An episode of CSI later, we were both sleeping soundly...most likely because the day had been draining. Even with all the fun stuff in the evening...sitting in a seminar for the day can become pretty tiring.
Today, the plan was to get up and be at church at 9:30. We had planned on going to church with JJ...having lunch afterwards and then hitting the gym...hard and heavy to help alleviate the sins of the night before. Sounds good, right? I woke up at 2. PM not AM. 2 o'clock in the afternoon...say what???? I have no idea what happened.....I'm certain our alarm went off as scheduled...could we both have just slept right through it? Who knows...but I can tell you....it must not have been a good thing. I woke up with a sorta "who cares?" attitude. What's the use...I am never gonna be a normal size again anyway and all of this is just me trying to fool myself into believing something that ain't gonna happen.
Now...I'm not sure if you have ever felt this way or not. Perhaps, I am the odd duck...who has these fits of despair. But...it has pretty much kept my bootie in bed for the afternoon...and now we are lounging around watching the SuperBowl. Hubs is rooting for the Cards...me for the Steelers...(I do know it would be fabulous for the Cardinals to win the first SB in over 60 years...but I can't help but remember the greatness of the Steelers and the Coca-Cola commercial with big ole Mean Joe Green....who can't love the steelers after he threw that jersey to the little boy???)
Oh well...I really hope the funk passes cuz honestly...I think I am done trying to reach the unreachable star. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to boot camp...our last week. I don't really want to go anymore. I just want to sleep in and get to work around 8 or 8:30. However, I must go....since we have partners and my partner will have to "pay" a price if I am not there. So...four more days of boot camp...and then maybe I will get re-energized. Right now...I'm feeling pretty lousy in terms of weight loss efforts so....say a prayer for me if you believe in that kind of thing...if not....just keep positive thoughts..that I can get past my funk...get on with my challenge and not give up...even though I don't feel as if I have the energy to step onto a treadmill again.
I have to see the doc on Thursday...this is the day I wanted to be securely in the 220's again. Oh well...just another goal...not acheived. I am a downer today....so sorry.
Perhaps I need to get some new "Happy" pills. :-)
IDK....
<3>
I had a pretty good Saturday after all. We spent all day at a seminar by Heather Forbes, called "Beyond Consequences Live". She is the author of a series of books on a new approach to discipline. It was certainly informative, however the approach is so very different from anything we (especially I) have ever used previously. At times, it was a challenge to fully embrace this approach. I don't consider myself a tough disciplinarian by any stretch of the imagination. However, this approach certainly makes my views seem extreme. I signed up for a 10 week more in-depth session that might allow me to get answers to some of my concerns. Perhaps after completing those sessions, I can more fully believe in the methods that were shared in this seminar.
After the seminar, my husband surprised me with a fabulous dinner at a restaurant, Kenny's Wood-Fire Grill. It is located in a little shopping strip and was quite a delight. It doesn't seem like anything special on the outside, but you walk inside to quite a hidden jewel. The scene was intimate, dark, and cozy. I may have been a little underdressed in my black sweater and denim jeans, but we were tucked into a corner of the small and cozy restaurant and I really don't think anyone could even see how I was dressed from the waist down. When we were escorted to our table in the corner, clearly marked with a "reserved" card and menus already placed for us, there was a beautiful vase of flowers on the table from a local florist. A card was perched in the vase with my name on it. The card simply said, "Rebekah, I love you. Mike" To say the least, I was sorta blown away. I would have never thought to have flowers delivered to the restaurant at which we were dining....so I certainly never expected to receive something like this. The service was outstanding...and the menu was amazing. Obviously - calorie count wasn't coming into play...I was going to indulge in something amazing..and not feel guilty. I mean, after all...how often does a girl get a surprise like this, right? I settled on an 8oz fillet with 2 bacon encrusted shrimp and a side of asparagus. Actually - I didn't think it would be that bad of a selection...so I didn't even ask for "light" preparation. OMG....the food was amazing...but extreeeeeemely rich. The bacon shrimp wasn't at all what I expected since the bacon was fully cooked and the shrimp was then rolled in the crushed pieces of bacon...almost like taking shrimp and coating them in bacon bits. It was served with a huge pot of fondue as well. I am not kidding. The steak was covered with a blob of walnut butter that was almost the same size as the steak. The food, although good...was just so very rich. Even the asparagus had a sauce on it. I tried to scrape as much of the sauces off that I could...and I didn't dip the giant prawn shrimp in the fondue or anything. Still, when all was said and done (including dessert)...I was stuffed. Beyond stuffed. I really didn't feel guilty though since it was a special occasion (even if the "special" occasion was a "just because I love you" from my husband.
We followed the dinner with a comedy show at the Eismann Centre in Richardson, TX. A trio called "Three Blonde Moms" was performing and the hubs got tix for us. It was hilarious...although I found 2 of the moms much funnier than one...so did the hubs. It was still a pretty amazing night and we were home before midnight..so all was well. An episode of CSI later, we were both sleeping soundly...most likely because the day had been draining. Even with all the fun stuff in the evening...sitting in a seminar for the day can become pretty tiring.
Today, the plan was to get up and be at church at 9:30. We had planned on going to church with JJ...having lunch afterwards and then hitting the gym...hard and heavy to help alleviate the sins of the night before. Sounds good, right? I woke up at 2. PM not AM. 2 o'clock in the afternoon...say what???? I have no idea what happened.....I'm certain our alarm went off as scheduled...could we both have just slept right through it? Who knows...but I can tell you....it must not have been a good thing. I woke up with a sorta "who cares?" attitude. What's the use...I am never gonna be a normal size again anyway and all of this is just me trying to fool myself into believing something that ain't gonna happen.
Now...I'm not sure if you have ever felt this way or not. Perhaps, I am the odd duck...who has these fits of despair. But...it has pretty much kept my bootie in bed for the afternoon...and now we are lounging around watching the SuperBowl. Hubs is rooting for the Cards...me for the Steelers...(I do know it would be fabulous for the Cardinals to win the first SB in over 60 years...but I can't help but remember the greatness of the Steelers and the Coca-Cola commercial with big ole Mean Joe Green....who can't love the steelers after he threw that jersey to the little boy???)
Oh well...I really hope the funk passes cuz honestly...I think I am done trying to reach the unreachable star. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to boot camp...our last week. I don't really want to go anymore. I just want to sleep in and get to work around 8 or 8:30. However, I must go....since we have partners and my partner will have to "pay" a price if I am not there. So...four more days of boot camp...and then maybe I will get re-energized. Right now...I'm feeling pretty lousy in terms of weight loss efforts so....say a prayer for me if you believe in that kind of thing...if not....just keep positive thoughts..that I can get past my funk...get on with my challenge and not give up...even though I don't feel as if I have the energy to step onto a treadmill again.
I have to see the doc on Thursday...this is the day I wanted to be securely in the 220's again. Oh well...just another goal...not acheived. I am a downer today....so sorry.
Perhaps I need to get some new "Happy" pills. :-)
IDK....
<3>
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